


You Are The Reason

by rukiaharem



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Atsumu is a cheater, Domestic, Established Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Established Miya Atsumu/OC, Hinata Shouyou Needs a Hug, M/M, Miya Atsumu is a Little Shit, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:20:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rukiaharem/pseuds/rukiaharem
Summary: Atsumu and Shouyou hadn't seen each other for nine months due to Shouyou's training in Brazil. Shouyou just arrived a week before Bokuto and Akaashi's wedding day and Atsumu thought he would be staying longer but he was told that he would be returning after a week. Atsumu felt so dissatisfied about it and felt that he couldn't bear their distance anymore.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Kudos: 26





	You Are The Reason

**Oneshot**

**_ In Twenty-eight _ **

This rich outdoor banquet enclosed by a garden of greens and roses. Everyone robed in frosty-white suits and dresses. Young maidens and gents curled their hands around their partners, dandelion wines and cocktails flaunting with tenderness in their hands before congesting such tasteless yet so addictive drink.

The eventful classical jazz music performed live in the corners by scholarly musicians, and several recognizable faces gathering in one place. This lively banquet filled with tears of joy—reunited with the ones who were acquainted before to give blessings to the newlyweds Bokuto and Akaashi’s floundering day.

Hinata Shouyou—a twenty-seven-year-old, professional volleyball athlete settled himself at the sommelier’s island, asking for the best cocktail they had. It appeared he was expecting for his partner who told him to wait at this station. But his partner seemed to be emerged in entertaining some of the other acquaintances in the banquet. It only had been fifteen minutes, yet his partner seemed to be held accountable for the guests.

It had been six years since he and Atsumu dated, and four years of cohabitation—living in one space under the same roof.

It had been nine months since he returned to Japan in October, he had been training overseas with his team. His long-distance relationship with the one and only Miya Atsumu—the man, his partner, and his lover to keep him waiting at the station alone.

He extremely missed him yet Atsumu bothered to be distracted by anything else other than him.

Did he sound selfish?

Yes, indeed.

 _Stupid, Tsumu!_ Shouyou sulked in his seat. He wore a lovely white suit with a baby blue color of the outline crooks on the corners and angles of the soft fabric. It perfectly fit his average stature of his lean built. His short curly hair pushed away to emphasize his soft features that his impeccable rosy tan cheeks dubiously elucidated his rough training in Brazil, his handsome face and the rough edges of his jawlines achieved that he was growing and becoming more mature.

Perhaps, he’s a late-bloomer.

Despite his whole physical changes as if he just started his puberty, he would still be mistaken as a high schooler—better than those middle-schooler jokes he received several year ago.

“One apple martini and a bottle of water for the shorty please.”

It also had been years since he last saw him, averting his amber gaze at the person who sat beside him.

“You know, one that surprises me is that you actually know how-to pull-out lame-ass jokes, and I will never get tired of this second-hand embarrassment. Do your best next time, Tobio.”

He grinned cheekily in which Tobio just flashed a smile at him and receiving a warm embrace from the most unexpected person he met. He loved this; he and Tobio weren’t complete strangers, they never considered it and their history was never a boring one.

The had something, they were something.

“Hey.” Tobio chuckled behind his ear that sent hot breaths in Shouyou’s skin, pulling himself until he was satisfied. Looking at his old teammate, almost wasn’t the same person he met before.

Firstly, he remembered how troublesome they were and soon building trust as a team to an unformidable opponent. And Lastly, all the same reason as to how both of them moving on different paths in order to grow stronger and better to fulfill their old childish promises to defeat each other, not to mention their immeasurable counting challenges were still up on the game. And he couldn’t believe he got to see Shouyou again.

“Hey...” Shouyou laughed, “It’s been centuries.”

“Idiot, say that if either of us have grand kids.”

“Oho. The King wants grandchildren~”

“Idi—ot, I said, ‘if.’ How much did you drink?” Tobio snatched his liquor away while reaching out his hand to fix Shouyou’s disarrayed hairstyle behind his ear and showing off a little concern.

“Hey, that’s mine.” Shouyou pouted.

“Drink some water at least.” He tossed him a bottle of water he ordered earlier.

Shouyou unable to protest, highly aware of the situation, and getting himself trouble at his friend’s wedding day wasn’t on his list.

Tobio thought he would be stubborn about it, gazing at him hydrating himself as if he never tasted spring before. It had been a year, watching him closely like this paraded a huge difference compared of what he had seen on the television. Shouyou displayed an abundant elegance and almost lascivious—sensually captivating presence. He raised a brow, glancing somewhere over the crowd, acting like an auspicious fool, “Where’s your partner?”

“Dunno.”

“A fight?”

“No—It’s not like that.”

“You really think you can fool me? We knew each other since we were high school. You don’t seem to know how to hide your impatience, Shouyou.”

“Haha, very funny,” Shouyou rolled his eyes, “I know, that me and Tsumu are dating and cohabiting for years—we often don’t see each other since we have our own separate teams—It had been nine months since we hadn’t seen each other,” He paused, Tobio persisted to listen.

Shouyou continued, “Yet, when I arrived last week—he was acting so distant and cold to me. He asked me to wait for him here, he had completely forgotten about it. Now that I’m here, we were now closer...I just thought it was unfair that I’m the only one feeling like this.”

“Maybe, he’s just nervous.”

“Nervous? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Then, you’re saying you don’t care about why he was acting that way? How he felt when you were away miles away from him?”

Shouyou frowned, “Tobio—” Somehow, he came to the wrong person to discuss about this issue, “Tsumu and I were on the same boat. I wasn’t the only subject of this distance!”

“Shouyou, calm down—”

“You know what—forget it.” He stood up, as to feeling the tension hammering in his head along with the cocktail.

“Wait—I’m sorry—that was insensitive of me saying such things...” Tobio grabbed his hand to stop him, upon seeing how vulnerable Shouyou was, he pleaded not to go.

Tobio gripped his hold, he felt Shouyou was trembling and holding back his tears, he didn’t intend to make him feel so bad.

“Please, give me a chance to explain—It’s not that you’re wrong—but please listen.” He felt relieved when Shouyou did not fight him.

“It’s not like I knew what Miya-san was thinking or how he would have dealt about this situation. It’s just—I put myself in the scenario—wherein how would I react if you were far away from me, if I were to put myself in Miya-san’s stead.”

“Tobio!” He warned, “We discussed about this already. And we ended it...”

“We?” Tobio furrowed, “Shouyou, you broke up with me when you went to Brazil. You wouldn’t even allow me to stand a single chance— and guess what—you were dating your teammate when we first met again at the Volleyball League. You didn’t know how I felt back then—”

Tobio continued, “We never discussed it. You ended it. Deciding on your own? And I couldn’t even say anything when I went with you at the airport, because I knew how much you wanted to grow stronger—but I never intended us to break up with you back then—until you have the nerve to introduce me that you’re dating him. That was fucking unfair, Shouyou!”

Shouyou felt numb, he felt like we was being slapped. He remembered Tobio’s face upon saying those hurtful words. He felt so guilty for things he shouldn’t have said.

They loved each other, there had been stronger and tougher times when they used to be together. In the end, everything just didn’t work out. They were so young, stupid, immature when they dated—it was special, but things were different right now.

“Yet you’re grumbling over why Miya-san’s acting so cold to you? I hope you know how much he loves you— _how much I loved you...”_ Tobio wished he still had the courage to say it.

“It was hard to be far away from the person I loved. And it couldn’t be help, I loved supporting you with your dreams and ambitions. I just didn’t expect you were planning to break up with me... That I thought we would still be together even we were far away.” Tobio was speaking in past tense.

“Tobio—”

“I knew you never meant to hurt me...you were still a brat back then. It’s no one’s fault. It’s okay—it’s fine—I just thought you were happier now, and that’s the most important thing.”

“Tobio—”

“...are you still in love with me?”

“...What can I do about it?”

Tobio looked on his toes that his vision clouded by the small tears holding back on his lower lash lines.

“You promised me that we would always be together, so I kept on holding that promise, but you fulfilled it to someone else.”

Shouyou felt the guilt rushed in, realizing how much they were so in love back then.

He didn’t want Tobio to wait for him—he was young and stupid, knowing it could hurt the both of them, and getting hurt for what he decided. And he had moved on, and he fell in love with Atsumu. Yet, Tobio still longed for him—it would only hurt Tobio more, Shouyou didn’t want that.

“Take your time, Tobio...” He touched his hands for the first time.

Tobio looked at him with so much pain—telling him to take his time was cruel. He didn’t know how long it would take to move on—so painful to hear how much Shouyou wanted him to forget as if Shouyou was telling him that he wouldn’t stand another chance nor another step. It wasn’t like it was his intention, he just knew Shouyou was happier with someone else.

He slowly removed himself from him.

“I’m sorry.” Tobio tried to put the courage to look at him genuinely, he didn’t care to be pitied by him. Then, he left.

Shouyou didn’t really know exactly what to do. He never thought how much he had hurt him. He wanted Tobio to move on, at least to spare his feelings and emotions to not keep on hoping for someone who would never come back.

Just watching Tobio’s figure disappear in sight, he even failed to say his thanks of the water bottle he ordered for him. It’s better not run over with him again, it would only make things more troublesome, and he wanted Tobio to completely moved on, no matter what.

.

.

.

_There goes my heart beating_ _  
Cause you are the reason  
I'm losing my sleep  
Please come back now_

.

.

.

Though he didn’t want to admit his selfishness and jealousy from the distance where Atsumu witnessed his boyfriend and Tobio had a little sweet time together at the sommelier station. Jealous that Shouyou seemed to be very comfortable with Tobio, he knew how much those two had gone through and their bittersweet relationship ended.

Somehow, it annoyed Atsumu allowing his boyfriend to be around with Tobio, sharing laughter, small talks, and tears. His selfishness of wanting that kind of bare minimum with Shouyou, the godforsaken bare minimum! His boyfriend took a nine-month training in Brazil, he wanted them to be emotionally attached like they used to.

Now that they were now closer together.

He truly missed him, he waited—always waited that his boyfriend would come home. And to feel each other’s warmth every single day. They always texts and had video calls all day and all night long, physical touch was just different.

Those months without Shouyou was hard, he badly wanted to see him, kiss him, touch him, and fucking not letting him go again. It couldn’t help since they were in different teams and they both loved volleyball—he fucking knew that. Sometimes, he just couldn’t help being selfish—he really loved him.

The frustration got him that he was acting so cold and distant to Shouyou. He was so stress within those nine-months, he never thought it wouldn’t be easy to be far away from each other.

When Shouyou came back, he held him so tight, kissed him just tasting those small, sweet plump lips on to his own. They had longed for each other until, hearing first thing in the morning that Shouyou would go back in Brazil next week, it completely destroyed his whole expectations.

How could he say no? —he couldn’t say anything. Shouyou loved volleyball.

He and Shouyou wanted to spend this month for them alone and swore that they would take a break from practices and training and to take this time to put up a closer space for themselves. Yet, hearing that Shouyou would go back in Brazil made him looked like a complete hopeless fool.

It made him to believe Shouyou loved it more in there than being with him. He was being delusional. It’s been a week since he acted cold and distant to his boyfriend, that he just wasted the days to patch up their distance.

He was making it even worst.

“Why the long face?” Atsumu unconsciously glared at Sakusa. He had no time to deal with him also.

“Shouyou and I had a small squabble, I mean we didn’t verbally argue with each other, but you know, I somehow put a space between us.” Atsumu confessed, he knew Sakusa didn’t even ask for it but he just needed opinions.

“Don’t tell me about it...” Somehow, Sakusa regretted approaching him on the table.

It was too late, “It’s been a week! We had no sex, we didn’t even kiss—I always sleep at the living room, we eat in silence. Sometimes we talk, but I ended up being worn out about it!” He complained as if he was going to cry.

“So, it’s your fault, then.”

“Yeah—but no—”

“I heard that he’s going back to Brazil next week, sounds tough.”

“Exactly!” Atsumu pointed out, “I just don’t want him to be far away from me again.”

“But you’re making it worst for you and Shouyou. You’re saying you don’t want to be far away from him. Yet, you’re here complaining and telling me you’re ignoring him for about a week already.”

“I know that you two idiots had been there for each other. And you’re not the only subject here, Shouyou must have felt the same as you do.” Sakusa grunted.

“You know I always think Shouyou is interesting—”

Atsumu scowled at Sakusa’s fondness at his boyfriend. Though he didn’t deny that many people looked at Shouyou like an eye candy that he kept on feeling impatient and annoyed about it.

Sakusa continued, “The feeling of sticking close to him and to see his sweet smile and cute sometimes cheeky personality turns me on.”

“Don’t ever say that in front of me!” He warned Sakusa.

Sakusa was just teasing him, “Well, we will never get tired of him. And in the banquet, this will the seventh time someone flirted with him and offered him a drink.”

“What?!”

“See for yourself.”

Atsumu turned around where his boyfriend was, and he saw the least person he didn’t want to associate in this banquet. He didn’t like it.

.

.

.

_There goes my mind racing_ _  
And you are the reason  
That I'm still breathing  
I'm hopeless now_

_._

_._

.

“Shouyou is so popular~ It’s making me feel so sad~”

Shouyou laughed, he knew this person so well in high-school—the person embracing him from behind.

“Tooru, you’re reeking of alcohol. And besides, you’re more popular than me ever since in high school.” Shouyou chuckled while embracing him back.

“You cheeky little sunshine, getting flirted by six men in this banquet. And don’t ever accept drinks from strangers, okay?”

“Some of them even asked me for my number. I completely turned them down.”

“Hmm, I saw Tobio-chan with you—are you okay? It looked kind of intense?”

“Tooru, did your mom ever teach you not to eavesdrop. I’m telling your mom about this.”

“Heh~ but I wanted to have some with you too! But they kept on stealing you.”

“Some of me?” He laughed, “How many drinks you have so far. You don’t want me to call Iwaizumi-senpai for you, do you?”

“You’re so mean to me~ Anyway, where’s your boyfriend, I didn’t see him around.”

_More like he was avoiding to a person like you._ Hinata laughed in his thoughts, “He told me to wait here for him.”

_But it has been an hour you have been sitting here._ Tooru grinned slyly, “If he is not planning to show up, then how about I ask you for a little dance?” He offered his hand pleadingly, knowing so well that Shouyou would never turn him down.

Shouyou chuckled with a big smile on his face, “A little dance wouldn’t hurt.” He took his hand, while being dragged on the dance floor with the soft rhythm of a ballad melody. The taller friend shamelessly wrapped its arms around his waist while the other hand gently holding Shouyou’s small hand.

Their fingers tenderly intertwined while taking few steps closer and he was staring up at the taller man as if they had this before back in Rio.

“You looked so stiff. Loosen up Shouyou, loosen up~” Tooru relaxed his shoulder.

Shouyou reassured, “Sorry—”

“Anxious?” Tooru raised a brow, upon seeing him reacted, “Don’t be—if he says something. I’ll back you up.”

“Hey, it’s not like that,” He chuckled.

“Something funny?”

“It remined me way back when we were in Brazil. There was a beach festival we were all dancing at all the greatest music. It feels so nostalgic!” Shouyou narrated, bringing him in to the memory lane where he met the great King in the scorching heat of the sun in the sunny beach side in Brazil.

“We did. We were having a lot of fun back then, pigging out, playing beach volleyball, swimming in the ocean, getting drunk—”

“Skinny dipping?” Shouyou added with a chuckle.

Tooru looked so shocked, “Shouyou! You’re so bold!” They both laughed.

“Anyway, it was sooo great and we had a lot of fun the both of us including those _stuff_.” Tooru winked as if the both of them only knew what that meant.

“God. That was just casual. It was a very long time ago. We both regret it!” Shouyou rolled his eyes in nonchalance.

“Hmm, I didn’t regret anything though.”

“Shut up, you don’t know how awkward it is!”

Tooru wanted to tease him more—or more like stirred up the mood of the many vigilant eyes to keep an eye on him as if they were warning him if he ever pulled out something out of the line. He would be digging his own grave. Well—everyone in this banquet dreamt to have a dance with Shouyou, he was lucky to be the one—of how bold he was to ask Shouyou to dance with him.

Tooru took this opportunity to pull him closer that they could feel heat in each other’s body, whispering teasing words in Shouyou’s ear, “Though, your cute moans echoing in the thin walls in my apartment, we even got scolded—"

“Tooru~ Stop it! You’re making me feel so uncomfortable.” Shouyou pouted.

 _Shoot, he’s cute_. Tooru didn’t mean to make him feel that way, so he decided to stop, “I apologize.”

Shouyou still blushed, he remembered it so well, it was a few weeks when he broke up with Tobio, when he decided to stay in Brazil, and he met Oikawa along the way. He still hasn’t dated Atsumu then, they were dating after several months when he joined BJ MSBY.

He and Oikawa were just drunk, they were both single, homesick young and healthy Asians in Brazil, they were old enough to understand sex, and they were both at it. But he did regret it in the morning, he was just glad that they were still friends and their relationship did not change, and how things didn’t get awkward between them despite what had happened to such crazy night.

“Tooru, did you feel that?”

“Yep, I might get murdered after this.”

Shouyou laughed, “Then, I’ll give you my condolences.”

Oikawa wanted to stay longer and dance with him but he felt the eyes of a person who could murder him anytime, but he was a cunning fool who loved to provoke everyone as he hugged Shouyou really tight, “I’ll miss you Shouyou! Let’s text each other and let’s play each other next time, we might see each other again in Brazil.”

“I’ll let you know, Tooru.”

As they parted ways, Shouyou went back to his station and saw Atsumu waited for him with a displeased look. Shouyou hesitantly cared to look at him in the eyes, while his legs responded to move closer to where Atsumu was.

“Um...hey, I was waiting for you here just a while ago.”

“You two seemed close.”

 _Here we are_. Just like he expected, even though he didn’t want to start anything but that. Shouyou sat a chair beside him.

“Hmm, Tooru and I were friends since before.”

“I know, and I don’t care whatever happen between you two, especially you were with him in Rio before.”

Shouyou didn’t want to talk about this. And he didn’t know what to do, Atsumu was talking to him in a mocking way. He needed to talk to him in private and not here.

“So, what did you and Tobio-kun talk about?”

 _Seriously, you need to stop._ Shouyou wanted to cry.

Atsumu got so frustrated when he saw Oikawa and Tobio with his boyfriend, he couldn’t help but feel jealous and insecure.

“We just talk about stuff.”

“But I said that you wait here, but you were flirting with other—just go back to Brazil if you want to.”

“Seriously, Tsumu, stop!” He warned him, right now Shouyou felt so hurt, he hated it.

Atsumu scowled, “Let’s settle this at home.”

Shouyou sighed, he didn’t feel right about this. He just wished they could slip from this party and settle this squabble between them at their home.

.

.

.

_I'd climb every mountain_ _  
And swim every ocean  
Just to be with you  
And fix what I've broken  
Oh, cause I need you to see  
That you are the reason_

.

.

.

Their home followed in silence as they set foot inside the living room, it was already night-time. The party ended not long time ago, as Shouyou and Atsumu finally arrived home just to settle their problem.

“Tsumu— I am going back to Brazil next week.” Shouyou said again, he knew Atsumu didn’t like hearing it, but he wanted Atsumu to accept it that he’s going to be gone for another month.

“Yeah, so?”

“Are you—going to be okay?”

“What’s the use... you always come and go...”

“Why are you being so indifferent? Can we talk this out please?”

“I was frustrated, when you came back, you told me first thing that you’ll just be staying here for about a week. It bothered me that I couldn’t think of anything, but you were leaving me again and those people at the reception even flirted with you.”

“I’m sorry for letting you feel that way, and I didn’t flirt with them.”

“No, it’s not your fault...”

“Tsumu, I don’t know what to do...” Shouyou sniffled.

“You don’t have to do anything, Shouyou.”

“Tsumu, I don’t want this. I’ll be leaving next week, and I was gone for nine months, now that I’m here, you’re gonna keep on ignoring me?”

“I can’t do this anymore, Shouyou...”

“What do you mean...”

“You know where this is going, right? If we keep on feeling this way, to be apart from each other, the paths that we have chosen—we can’t keep this up if it stays like this, missing each other day by day—how are we supposed to stay together when we are miles away from each other.”

“We?! Atsumu, you’re the only who feels this way, I want you to let me stay out of it and you take it back!”

“So, what if I’m the only one feeling this way? Don’t tell me that you’re not going to end this, just because you don’t feel the same way as I do?”

“You...want to end this?” Shouyou felt a migraine.

“I’ll let you stay here until your departure; I’ll be staying at Osamu’s house.”

“Tsumu, I’ll wait for you—”

“Just stop this already.” Atsumu just left him those word and in confusion. Shouyou couldn’t do anything nor having no idea how to stop him.

.

.

.

_There goes my hands shaking_ _  
And you are the reason  
My heart keeps bleeding  
I need you now_

.

.

.

_But that was where he was wrong...He didn’t want Shouyou to know—_

Slender fingers tenderly pressing the keys of the beautiful notes from a tranquil classical piano composed by a scholarly musician. Palates closed as if grasping the discomforting but melodious sound from the highest to the lowest key—almost hauntingly beautiful. Warm yellow tones of lights flashed through the floors as to avoid disaster and accidents in the hallways.

Soft murmurs of laughter and small talk of gossips disarrayed to one’s ears. This infamous gay tavern where people gathered to fuse off some steam and get laid with anybody around—a marginalized place from a society that they couldn’t accept.

“Break up?”

Atsumu gawked. His buzz cut dark blonde locks pushed against his handsome chiseled features, an adult of a man in his twenty-eights. The young man contracted with the cheeky bartender while he was sitting at the island and drinking another shot of whiskey served by the bartender.

“No.” Atsumu laughed.

The bartender looked confounded, concluding the young man was bluffing. The body language and the expressive faces filled with overwhelming emotions that the young man was in a state of unfathomable thoughts The bartender even noticed that not once but thrice, he had caught him keeping his interests to the musician on to the stage as if the young man would aim for him.

“I don’t mind, giving you his number, while a lover waiting for you so lonely and cold at home where his lover aims for somebody else.” The bartender chortled. Atsumu ignored his mischievous methods.

“It’s not like they are waiting for me at home, they will be far away from me again.”

“Still—isn’t that called cheating?”

Atsumu bit his tongue.

“He is Akira Yuukiji, he is a twenty-seven-year-old Music Major Professor in Tokyo University. He has been in a lot of concerts all over the world and has composed and produced hundreds of music, and he has won international contests during his early days.”

“Why haven’t I heard of him?”

“That’s because you have a different taste in music. He is famous in the industry you know.”

In the end, Atsumu spared the time to listen what the bartender had to say. It didn’t mean he denied asking for the musician’s phone number but knowing a little bit of second-hand gossips could be a little help. He just let the bartender continue.

“He is young, and he’s cute too. I have a lot of customers asking me for his phone number, but they were all old dirty creeps, and I would never tarnish Mr. Yuukiji-san’s innocence.”

“Mr. Yuukiji even said one of his interviews that he’s not interested in marriage and commitments, he had a plenty of people in his life that hurt him and loved him—that he just could not settle his life with someone, I respected him.” The bartender glanced up straight, “Well, incoming alert. Goodluck Mr. Cheater.” He exited and entertained another customer on the other island.

“Did he say something weird about me?”

His garden of lavender flower fragrance brushed against Atsumu’s nostrils, side-eyeing the musician’s figure his average height and slender frame, his black sleeveless and red flannel flattered his pale skin. His curly baby blue locks looked fuzzy but cute, and big round emerald eyes glowed in the soft dim lights at the tavern. He looked so pretty, Atsumu could not put it into words.

Atsumu flashed a smile, “You don’t have to worry about it, I only asked him for your number.” He half-lied as his body language framed to a comfortable position to the musician in front of him. Maybe it’s the alcohol or it’s just him to act so forward. The musician chuckled—he didn’t want to assume but the drunk of a man just flirted with him and asked for his phone number the moment he tried to associate with him. Even so, he found him good looking too.

“Wanna go to another bar then?” Akira suggested with a sly grin.

Atsumu hesitated. Whether he didn’t want to go because someone was waiting for him alone at home.

 _He knew he didn’t do anything wrong_.

That very night, Atsumu didn’t return home.

Morning shone up above as the sun rose on the peak of the blue skies. Atsumu felt warm against his chest as a small figure shuffling itself beneath the thin layers of the covers, hiding them from bare. He was still half-asleep as to how he had no self-awareness around him or where he was right now.

“Shouyou, let’s make breakfast—” His eyes still closed, and arms wrapped around the small figure beside him, pressing him gently on to his chest as if it was a heat pack. Not soon, he realized everything and remembered what happened last night at the tavern, they went to another bar, and went straight to a love hotel nearby. He sat up, trying himself to calm down first—and took a quick shower. He needed to go back to Shouyou.

_I’m not guilty. I didn’t do anything wrong._

He decided to go for a hot shower as it relaxed his nerves and the throbbing muscle spasms crawling in his biceps. Tilting up his head as the water sprinkled on to his face. Last night was a mistake. It had been such a long time since he had got himself laid—but with someone else.

He and Shouyou were professional volleyball stars, they first met at the Spring National Tournament during their Highschool days, they started dating in College until they decided for cohabitation when he was twenty-three. Even as professional volleyball athletes, they were delegated in different and in the strongest teams. Shouyou still played with Brazil, and Atsumu’s in the Division 1 V-League.

He and Shouyou hadn’t seen each other for nine months—he had been feeling so impatient—being in a different time-zone—Atsumu missed him so much. He was so upset that Shouyou would only be in here for a short notice.

Still—he did something that Shouyou would never ever know. _He wouldn’t let him know_ — How days, months, years could change a person just because they were far away from the ones that were special to them. How he made distance as an excuse, when distance wasn’t the matter of this—he was the one who made a mistake—One thing he knew that this would never ever happen again.

He got out from the shower, changed to his clothes and saw Yuukiji already up in bed.

“Mr. Atsumu Miya—I never realized until now that it was you, no wonder you looked so familiar.” Yuukiji smirked, he was still naked but Atsumu ignored his presence—he had a bad feeling coming from the musician.

“Hmm cohabited with Mr. Shouyou Hinata in 2019. Miya-san, do you think Hinata-kun would approve to this?” Akira snickered setting his phone aside after browsing information about Atsumu on the internet.

“That will never happen!” Atsumu snarled, taking his coat on him that was being thrown aside near the bed, as he bent down to level up with Akira’s eyes, “I don’t think we will see each other ever again. Don’t ever fuck with me.”

The baby-blue haired musician scoffed, “Oh Atsumu~ last night was the best! We can do it next time if you ended things with him, feel free to see me again at the tavern~” He said painstakingly.

Atsumu ignored him as he stormed all the way outside. He didn’t expect that the musician had such a warped personality despite being attracted to him.

_“Tsumu, wait for me okay, I’m going to beat your butt with my strongest team!”_

_“We will win this time, Shouyou!”_

_“In New Year’s Eve, let’s watch the fireworks display at Tokyo Tower”_

_Atsumu also knew how much Shouyou loved the New Years, celebrating it with him and their families together. He just couldn’t wait for the next year to come, “I will wait for you. Promise me, you’ll come back to me.”_

_“I promise.”_

That was the day he sent Shouyou at the airport. Even though being away from each other for nine months—they didn’t have the time to have sorrowful goodbyes, but he wished they did. He missed him so much that he did something behind his back. He knew they were in the same situation of being far away from each other, but Atsumu would never think his husband would ever do the same thing as him, he wouldn’t like it either. But he did things to tarnish Shouyou’s fidelity, their love, their patience, and their trust.

Walking down the busy streets in Tokyo, where a lot of businessmen and other working-class groups walked on to the pedestrian underneath wide screen television, tall commercialize skyscrapers, and just a city of floundering industry. And a Television News and other commercial buildings just now reported celebrities, idols, and stars with Exclusive and Headline news about _him_ —about Atsumu Miya.

Everything went so slow, ignoring the people in the busy street bumping against him—nothing else in his thoughts—but a crumbling picture of Shouyou, the day where he met him, the day where Atsumu confessed to him, the youthful days of their dating stage, the day he sets to him for BJ MSBY, the day where he proposed for their cohabitation, and all the days where they shared a bed, kiss, touch, meals together crumbled like ashes in the pits of fire.

Atsumu had once thought—that he would never let Shouyou know about what he did, never.

_But that was where he was wrong..._

_He didn’t want Shouyou to know—_

**Exclusive: Professional Volleyball Athlete Atsumu Miya had an affair with a Famous Musician Akira Yuukiji!!!**

**_Headline_ ** _: In 2019, Atsumu Miya cohabited with his former teammate in BJ MSBY Shouyou Hinata—now a Professional Volleyball Athlete in Brazil Team. On December 10 th 2025, at exactly 2:40 A.M., the management of XXX Love Hotel reported that the Volleyball Star Atsumu Miya and Famous Musician Akira Yuukiji checked in to that Hotel...There is no doubt that Mr. Atsumu Miya is cheating!_

_He didn’t want Shouyou to know—_

_—the world wants Shouyou to know._

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.

.

_And if I could turn back the clock_ _  
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark  
I'd spend every hour, of every day  
Keeping you safe_

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**_ In Thirty-one _ **

It had been three years since Atsumu Miya and Shouyou Hinata broke up. Why couldn’t Atsumu defend himself? He knew—it wasn’t justifiable. He knew—he couldn’t win against the truth. And he knew—there was just no way he could lie to his boyfriend. He an Akira were complete strangers, it wasn’t like he wanted to see him ever again, he never intended on seeing him.

When the news spread all over the internet, Shouyou didn’t even bother about answering his calls, emails, and texts despite Atsumu had been trying to reach out to him.

At exactly, December 10, 2025—Atsumu didn’t return at home instead he was screwing around with someone else behind Shouyou’s back. Shouyou was waiting for him. After seeing the news, the unending tweets about Atsumu’s affair—Shouyou did not hesitate to go back to Brazil and never came back for useless settlements in Japan in which he only got rewarded by a cheating lover.

Shouyou felt extremely empty, confused—as his thoughts were clouded, unable to collect his judgments on what to do, how he should have dealt with Atsumu cheating on him, and things that happened between them. Shouyou never felt so betrayed, he didn’t deserve it. Why would Atsumu do those things behind his back, would he care enough to be a little more patient to wait for him. Just a little? Yet he received a huge slapped on his face by Atsumu’s infidelity—he was the one who ended it—Atsumu ended it.

How could Atsumu still had the balls to even try reaching out to him, after what he had done. He still had the nerve to ask for an explanation. They met at the world stage between Brazil versus Japan. Shouyou’s team won—Atsumu tried to talk to him before the game started, but Shouyou didn’t give him any chance.

Atsumu knew—Shouyou was hurt and felt so betrayed of their relationship. Their history were never a boring one, they met in high school, dated in College, he even set for him for BJ MSBY, and competed against each other from different teams—more than that—they were lovers. Yet, Atsumu had made a grave mistake—a deep embedded mistake.

Days felt so empty...the bed where they shared, table where they ate their meals, living room where they cuddled, every corner inside the apartment had meaningful stories they both only shared. Yet, Atsumu could not bear the weight of just leaving the place they had the most fun memories other than playing on the court.

Staying in their old apartment was his own decision, it was as if he was waiting for someone to come back—someone he could never have again—someone who couldn’t accept to be with him all over again. But why would he still be expecting, if he knew they would never bother to return home.

Months felt agonizing...he wanted to see him, listen to his stories. He missed him that he could not possibly do something about it. Always felt so conscious and insecure of himself whenever Shouyou posted something on his social media of pictures with his old friends, close friends, and the people who cared so much about him. He never heard of Shouyou finding a new life with someone. But one thing for sure—Shouyou didn’t care about him anymore.

Atsumu peeked his eyes on the right side of the bed—empty-handed. No one was there, reminded himself every time he woke up. Reminding him of his past mistakes—that he did something wrong and something that would never be forgotten. And this was the result of his own stupidity.

There was someone who used to open the curtains by their wide glass windows as the annoying sunlight hurt his eyes that he got tired complaining to stop doing it. There was someone who used to make breakfast with him every morning, brushed their teeth after meal, took a minute-jog every day, showered together as soon as they went back to their apartment, and cuddled on the couch while watching their favorite movies—Atsumu could have lived with those forever until he stepped onto the wrong path—right now, those routines with someone were nothing but _he_ , _himself_ could do it alone. No one but Shouyou was the only one who could share those moments with him.

Atsumu decided to go straight to the living room and turned on the television, switching some random channels. Until, his phone rang coming from his old friend and his teammate, Bokuto in such an early morning. Atsumu bothered to answer his call.

“What is it? It’s seven in the morning—”

“Tsum Tsum, I hope you’re doing alright. I just knew this morning, when Akaashi told me a while ago. I heard about it!” Bokuto’s voice almost sound concerned behind their call.

Atsumu wondered “I’m doing fine, thanks. But what do you mean by that—”

“Huh? Hold on, you don’t know?”

Atsumu looked even more confused, when the television switched to the Sports and Celebrity News Report saying:

**_“This wonderful combination between two old high school rivals, Mr. Shouyou Hinata and Mr. Tooru Oikawa caught to have matching engagement rings! And caught in Maldives alone together for a vacation! After the drama that happened three years ago. We are getting a new and fresh deal of story right now! Recording live in Sports and Celebrity News Report!_ **

“Bokuto, I’m hanging up.” Atsumu cuts the line before Bokuto could even say anything. Atsumu didn’t leave his eyes on the widescreen television screen when he saw Oikawa and Shouyou’s faces shown through pictures hand in hand together taken by paparazzi’s. As well as being on a live broadcast on the news.

 _Shut it down._ Atsumu told himself but he couldn’t.

“So, how did everything start between you two to be so—intimate?” The reporter asked enthusiastically.

Earning a shy chuckle by the two Volleyball athletes. Atsumu felt the crumbling knot between his chest—he just saw him on television, yet he yearned to see him in person. Shouyou changed so much—his hair was short but neat, he got a little tanner, leaner, and he looked more confident and composed on the camera—back then, he used to get so nervous during live interviews that Atsumu had to always rescue him whenever his boyfriend got surrounded by newscasters. Overall, Shouyou looked very dreamy.

“Well, it started naturally—we just spent our day-offs a lot in Brazil. Playing beach volleyballs, sun-bathing, lunch dates—everything just started casually until we got so intimate with each other.”

“This is embarrassing.” Shouyou blushed, trying to compose himself from what Oikawa answered.

The reporter just laughed, “This question is for you Mr. Hinata—a random question asked by our netizen, they asked which one of you and Mr. Oikawa initiated to start going off on a real date?”

“Me.” Shouyou answered.

“A straight-forward answer! Can you please elaborate it for your fans to know about more of that? I wanted to know too, since I’m your biggest fan~” The reporter teased.

“Thank you. Miss Takahashi. It’s hard to explain, but I’ve been told by an old acquaintance—Mr. Kuroo Tetsuroo—”

“Ahh yes, him!”

“Kuroo, told me that I was such a good schmoozer when I was in high school. And some various people told me that I was so good at flirting without even knowing about it because it wasn’t intentional. And I do give a lot of compliments!”

“I agree with that.” Oikawa answered.

“But you see, going back to the question, I was the one who flirted first with Tooru.”

Oikawa butted in, “There was this one time, when we first met in Brazil, where I treated him dinner because he lost his wallet.”

The reporter and Shouyou laughed together. Atsumu made himself felt so little, he knew Shouyou met Oikawa first in Highschool, knowing that they even had moments in Brazil together. Atsumu continued to listen to the interview.

“We played beach volleyball after and he had the audacity to tell me that he was so happy to see me there with him. I thought it was so cute—so I told him to treat me dinner next time.”

“Oh~ so that next time, happened right?” The reporter asked.

“Yes, we did treat each other’s meals a lot of times. It was casual back then and the other few years until I met Atsumu Miya when I returned home.” Atsumu surprised for Shouyou mentioning him on a live broadcast. He wasn’t the only one, the reporter and Oikawa got surprise too for bringing his name out of nowhere.

Shouyou knew one thing that Atsumu’s name would eventually arrive and become a hot topic just for this show. As if this show expected for this, so he wanted to initiate.

Shouyou said it as if it was really nothing—But why would he even bother mentioning it—if Atsumu was nothing to him anymore? Did he do this just for a show? To allow Shouyou treat him like a material for this show?

The reporter took this as an advantage, “About that—have you and Mr. Atsumu Miya have been in touch? Despite what had happened between you two, it had been exactly three years—I know this is a choice between you two but how are things between you two?”

Oikawa and Shouyou looked at each other, trying to invert himself back to the question—It wasn’t awkward nor disrespectful for the reporter. Since, he found it really relevant part of him and for Atsumu as well, but he didn’t know what would Oikawa feel about that—Shouyou was aware of the straining expression coming from the setter.

“It’s not that tough—I was just not prepared to see him yet before. Right now, I hope he had been happy and continued to live the life he really wanted.”

_No—Shouyou, I wasn’t happy, not ever._

“Well, life goes on and takes time to heal! Anyway, Mr. Oikawa—”

Atsumu switched the television off and decided to stop reading the tweets on his feed with the hashtags, #CongratulationsOikawaandHinata, #AtsumuStupidAsshole. He didn’t care what people say to him, he’s bothered about his ex’s new engagement—And he clearly did not like.

He wanted to believe that it was just for a show just for him to make him jealous and reflect of what he did in the past. But, it’s Shouyou Hinata he knew, that he would never play pretend someone else’s feelings because of a stupid celebrity issue. An issue that should only be kept between them, without letting these showbiz industry trample on their own private spaces.

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_And I'd climb every mountain_ _  
And swim every ocean  
Just to be with you  
And fix what I've broken  
Oh, cause I need you to see  
That you are the reason (I don't wanna fight no more)_

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.

Shouyou held his voice, lifting his head upward as they were still near the front door behind their hotel room. Oikawa sneered in between his harsh tainted bites and kisses around Shouyou’s thin layered skin on his sun burnt neck turning a darker shade of crimson blood color. The taller man separated Shouyou’s thighs by his leg, pressing him hard against the wall to support Shouyou’s back, Oikawa unbuckled his pants as they were on his way.

Shouyou hitched a breath, “Are you angry of the reporter?” He caressed Oikawa’s face softly, bringing it close to his face to kiss him.

Oikawa frowned, pouting as he rested his face against Shouyou’s shoulder. He knew that his emotional distress wouldn’t solve his frustration and jealousy, he tried himself to stay composed in front of the cameras as to how he avoided to be trickled about the interview earlier. There was no point of him to be angry. He was such an idiot.

“I’m sorry.”

“You know, you’re pretty obvious that you’re annoyed about the reporter.”

“D-Did it really showed to the camera?”

“I guess the viewers and the reporter didn’t know about it, but I saw how you’re clenching your fist back at the studio. You need to be incredibly careful, next time. You don’t want to lose your career because you end up killing someone, do you?”

“Killing, is a bit too much.” Oikawa snorted.

“You don’t have to be angry you know, it’s not like we are dating for real.” Shouyou sighed as he walked up to the main living room area.

Oikawa followed, “Don’t say that—you’re gonna hurt my feelings too.”

“I’m aware of how you felt towards me, but we had an agreement, and this was your idea to play pretend about this fake relationship, fake engagement rings, and fake stupid showbiz that people were so stupid to care about this irrelevant mess. I’m so sick of this that I have to end up playing with your little play. And we’re just sex partners.” Shouyou propped on the couch.

Oikawa couldn’t argue with that, he sat right next to the orange haired, “So what now? Since our fans knew about us even though this is all just a play pretend, shall we make it official?”

“In your dreams. I don’t care what the media says, what other people say—they don’t really have no idea about me.”

“Too bad, you’re an athlete superstar that people just couldn’t get tired of how handsome and cute you are.”

“Shut it...”

“Don’t tell me, you’re planning to go back with that foxy guy?” Oikawa turned sour.

“Don’t ask me that. And he has a name.”

“So—you’re really going to go back to him?” Oikawa just thought it was stupid and common sense, “After what had happened?! Shouyou it had been three years, yet you still wanted to go back to that cheater?”

“I never said I would!”

“What you said in the media?”

“Did you really think I was telling the truth?”

Oikawa somehow felt bad for Atsumu, it was a live broadcast after all. Atsumu must had felt so happy and delighted to hear those sweet words from Hinata, but just called him out he wasn’t speaking for the truth. _Well—Atsumu deserved it_. Oikawa scoffed.

“So, weren’t we going to continue where we left off?” Oikawa leaned closer to the smaller figure.

Shouyou just gawked at him, sighing as he chuckled, “You’re such a piece of work...”

Only then, Oikawa knew he wouldn’t fall for such nonsense Shouyou said. He would never bring himself to listen to those words coming from his mouth. Eventually, he knew Shouyou would end up eating his own words. That somehow, he wouldn’t stand a chance for Shouyou. Never.

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_I don't wanna hide no more_ _  
I don't wanna cry no more  
Come back I need you to hold me (You are the reason)  
Be a little closer now  
Just a little closer now  
Come a little closer  
I need you to hold me tonight_

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**_ In Thirty-eight _ **

It was the 31st of December. Families, loved ones preparing a feast on their tables to celebrate New Year’s Eve. The smell of roasted turkey, the steaming pasta and macaroni, and a crate of alcohols stack in places for adults—a feast of indulgences, a celebration for moving on, starting over, and changing of life events.

For this year, Atsumu was alone for this night; he always visited his Family back in Hyogo to celebrate his New Year’s Eve for the past few years. But right now, he was all alone. How could he return back in Hyogo, when there was no one out there waiting for him. His parent died this year since they were now gray and old. Osamu also had a family, but he celebrated his Years together with his family in Switzerland.

His friends as well, Bokuto, Akaashi, Sakusa also have their own private lives. It had been ten years since he broke up with his boyfriend. He was still a professional volleyball athlete, but he never decided to find a new life to begin with—a person or a thing wasn’t necessary to start a new beginning.

It started with him—he had completely move out at his old apartment since last year because he thought, he could start a new beginning—but everything was just the same.

His apartment was quite smaller than before, but it had a minimalistic interior design that he did not regret picking an apartment near the City.

One thing he learned from his past mistakes from he used to have a single hope for Shouyou to come back—when he never did. Atsumu stopped chasing. He learned how to move on.

All he had right now was his pet Pomeranian dog named Sho-chan—Yes, he named his puppy after his ex-boyfriend’s name.

His pet also resembled Hinata’s ever bright tangerine hair. A small, energetic puppy he got last year.

Atsumu was just preparing Sho-chan’s food on his plate of dog food. While reading a daily newspaper as a pamphlet fell on to the ground. Atsumu cared to pick it up and felt nostalgic.

_“Tsumu, wait for me okay, I’m going to beat your butt with my strongest team!”_

_“We will win this time, Shouyou!”_

_“In New Year’s Eve, let’s watch the fireworks display at Tokyo Tower”_

_Atsumu also knew how much Shouyou loved the New Years, celebrating it with him and their families together. He just couldn’t wait for the next year to come, “I will wait for you. Promise me, you’ll come back to me.”_

_“I promise.”_

Atsumu felt warm for that memory.

“Sho-chan, let’s go at Tokyo Tower...” Atsumu smiled to the small puff ball who just barked at him in response.

It was 11:45 PM in the chilly winter night on the 31st of December. Loved ones cuddling each other to make themselves warmer, restaurants open in the dusk as family members decided to hold it in Izakaya’s. A lot of people at Tokyo Time Square were waiting for the fireworks display, but there were also people who loved to watch it on an aerial view at Tokyo Tower. Watching the light display together with their loved ones, but Atsumu decided to watch it with his cute puppy. Holding the cute puppy in his arms while dressing the Pomeranian dog with a comfortable, fluffy yellow sweater.

They were now at the top of Tokyo Tower, there weren’t many people around. This was also his second time in his whole existence to be back in here. The first time he got here was eleven years ago, where he and Shouyou was still dating at their youthful days. They had so much fun back then, it almost brought him back since he was now standing on the top of the tower while people were now counting down until the new year comes.

15, 14, 13

He remembered it so well

12, 11, 10

His mistakes—and the loving days and everything about Hinata.

9, 8, 7

Yet, he thought he already moved on, yet he still kept on chasing.

6, 5, 4

Is it okay to be still hoping even up to this day? That one day, they would be back again?

3, 2, 1!

The sky glowed with colorful and bright fireworks, shouting Happy New Years to everyone with all the smiles wearing on their faces. But for Atsumu only tears started to water in his eyes, he was supposed to be happy that he brought himself here and his puppy to watch the firework display but not with the person who used to loved him to watch it with him.

A single glance in front—he met those big amber eyes staring at him for a brief moment. His feet did not hesitate, but those eyes he saw flashed away from him.

He learned to move on

He stopped chasing

Yet he was here, always yearning to see him again

Such dumb word he could not just dare to stop himself from thinking about him.

“Shouyou!” He shouted his name, chasing all over him downstairs, “For everything, I was wrong!” He finally caught him, as he received a punch on the face from him.

“Idiot!”

Atsumu just touched his swollen face as he glanced at the person whose face filled with hurt as if a deep wound etched in his chest.

“Took me ten years to wait for you here!” Shouyou whimpered, his tears wouldn’t stopped falling, his chest felt like about to burst. As if he was trying so hard to smile—to look okay—but his face where all messed up from an overwhelming emotion.

_Atsumu also knew how much Shouyou loved the New Years, celebrating it with him and their families together. He just couldn’t wait for the next year to come, “I will wait for you. Promise me, you’ll come back to me.”_

_“I promise.”_

“You? Waited? After all this time? For me?”

“We promised, right?”

Atsumu clutched his pet to warm it from cold. His tears also synch with Shouyou’s as if they wanted this—they needed this. They needed each other. “Yes, we did.”

Atsumu just pulled him close, planting a genuinely, sweet kiss as their mouth brushed against each other. Atsumu deepened his kiss until his small cute puppy barked in between their sweet moment.

“Oh you had a dog, what is its name?”

“Sho-chan. I had him last year. He reminded me of you. I couldn’t bring myself.”

They just looked at each other in silence, Atsumu caressed Shouyou’s face gently, “I’m sorry for everything, and thank you for keep on waiting for me here. I’m sorry if I was late.”

Shouyou put up a small smile, he just snuggled a little more in Atsumu’s chest. “It’s never too late, Atsumu...” Whispering his name softly feeling the warmth when Atsumu wrapped his arms around him. Atsumu also wanted this—longed for this. They didn’t know what to do next but stay like this for a while, pouring out their endless emotions from everything they had been through. “I’m home, Tsumu...”

Atsumu whimpered, hiding his face on Shouyou’s shoulder, “Welcome Home.”

.

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_I'd climb every mountain_ _  
And swim every ocean  
Just to be with you  
And fix what I've broken  
Cause I need you to see  
That you are the reason_

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**Author's Note:**

> Scott, C. (2018). You Are The Reason. 
> 
> I know the song is sad, but it just fits right to this fic. Please do leave a review, I love to read reviews <3


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